Household Tips For Women from The Onion

Between juggling a career and a social life, today's woman has it harder than ever, we are told. As a service to our lady readers, The Onion would like to lighten their burden by sharing some tips to make things easier around the house.

~You may find yourself lying in bed at night beside your husband thinking, "Is this all?" It isn't, sister. With a cup of corn starch in your sheet laundry, you can achieve those perfect hospital corners.

~The only way for a woman to know herself as a person is through creative work of her own. Cut grilled cheese sandwichces diagonally and let your spirit soar!

~Power that pan clean with Girl Power! The same goes for counters, collars, rugs, curtains, tile, grout, duvet covers, venetian blinds, and problem areas.

~When you open yourself to the abundance of the universe, anything is possible... even getting a clean toilet with NO SCRUBBING! Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet, let it sit for one hour, and then flush it clean. You can use that extra sixty minutes of free time to believe, breathe, dream, laugh, or CELEBRATE what makes you UNIQUE!

~Do you often find yourself wishing there were more hours in the day? Juggling a career, a home, and a relationship can be hard, but you can't let any one of those things go, or you will be a failure as a woman. Taking a regular dose of methamphetamine will give you the energy to successfully manage all three and spare you the inconvenience of sleep.

~Liberate yourself from household chores: Have children!

Starting out fresh....

Since it has been almost a year since my last post I decided to delete everything and start fresh.

Lots of things have changed over the past year so there is a lot of ground to cover but I think I will just do a quick recap.

Layla is 17 months old and growing so fast. She is so smart and really funny. She has been walking since she was 9 1/2 months old and we have a hard time keeping up with her. She loves to color and dance and she is becoming quite the singer. She is really starting to talk now. Her vocabulary kind of exploded this month and she is saying two word phrases and is able to get across exactly what she wants and expects from us. She is the boss and she lets us know. Luckily, though she has her bad days like any other toddler, she is a very good girl and rarely gives us problems.

Another development is that Miss Layla has a baby brother on the way. Finn will be here in a little over a month and we are excited but nervous too. I am worried about how Layla is going to handle it and how we are going to juggle two kids and two cats in this small apartment. I know we will figure it out but I have a feeling it is going to be a real challenge at first.

Other than that much is the same. We are in the same apartment we moved to a year ago and we plan on staying for at least another year. We wanted to move sooner but we felt having a move and a new baby brother would be far too much for Layla to handle at once.

I will try and keep up with this blog as much as possible, though I may slack from time to time because I am busy with the babies or just too tired.

Thank you for reading.