Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Am I only "mommy"?

Sometimes I feel as though all I am is a mommy. I don't really feel like I am much else. I spend my days in my PJs taking care of the Bug (Layla). The only time I leave the house is when I take her with me or it is something I am doing for her. I don't have any friends of my own and I never do anything that is just for me. I use to like to wear cute shoes and clothes and read gossip magazines but for the past two years I have lived in maternity clothes and pajamas and I only read Parents or Parenting.

I didn't really know who I was before I got pregnant and now I think I have lost the little I did know that made me 'Me' since I got pregnant with the Bug. Don't get me wrong, I will never regret my babies and I don't really miss my life before. I was very unhappy then and I was not healthy at all. Layla has made me happier then I ever thought I would be, BUT some days I want to have a little bit of me back. I would like to feel like my own person with more to talk about then how wonderful my daughter is (and she is) and what she is learning. I am interested in politics, art, and fashion but everything that comes out of my mouth has to do with being a mom and it seems I can't control it. I guess it feels that sometimes my babies are the best thing about me so why would anyone want to hear about anything else?

BLAH! I think I am just feeling sorry for myself today. Maybe once I get this baby out of me I will feel more human again...

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